Stomping On Eggshells, LLC Your secret weapon to surviving a high conflict divorce and custody battleJan 31, 2022 09:16AM ● By Chuck Tashjian
Divorce can be emotional, even under amicable circumstances. For Claudia Lopez, a certified high conflict divorce coach, who founded Stomping On Eggshells LLC in March 2021, the emotion she sees in her cases is at a level most people would not comprehend.
A “high conflict divorce” is generally characterized by a high conflict litigant who uses the legal system and finances to exert control, which can often draw out the divorce process for many years and create instability for families. This is known as post-separation abuse, a set of coercive control tactics that have been shown to take a psychological toll on targeted parents and children.
A certified high conflict divorce coach can help parents navigate family court proceedings and co-parenting challenges that arise when divorcing a win-at-all-costs partner.
Founded in Natick, Stomping On Eggshells is a team of coaches and custody advocates who are driven to reduce the emotional and financial devastation involved in high conflict divorce and ongoing custody disputes.
The company motto is “survive your divorce, protect your family.” Coaches offer personalized divorce coaching anywhere in the United States.
Each coach knows what clients are going through because they have been there themselves.
Lopez went through a high conflict divorce starting in 2013 when she spent three years in family court, followed by many more years of conflict resolution procedures out of court. She has spent over $65,000 in the process.
“That was, by far, the most excruciating time of my life and I felt I had reached my breaking point on multiple occasions,” she says. “When I couldn’t find a local support group related to emotional abuse and post-separation abuse, I started one and called it Stomping on Eggshells. The name stuck.”
High conflict divorces are often mistaken as the product of two parents with a grudge. In reality, most are driven by one personality type motivated by power and control.
Lopez says “toxic” patterns of coercive control that were present during a marriage continue throughout the divorce and beyond, such as maintaining control of finances, harassment, intimidation, undermining the targeted parent’s authority and demeaning them to the children, and making false accusations about bad parenting.
Once separated, and the home is no longer an accessible battleground, the courtroom takes the place of the home.
Lopez made a promise to herself that, “If I survived my divorce I would find a way to help other protective parents experiencing the same mind-numbing gamesmanship.”
Lopez says a “protective parent” seeks to shield children from the conflict and unhealthy behaviors, and is motivated by the children’s wellbeing.
In addition to helping parents prepare for their divorce and custody cases, Stomping On Eggshells guides parents on how to engage in productive co-parenting communication while disengaging emotionally.
“I have doctors, teachers, mental health experts, engineers and attorneys as clients; all have expressed feeling anxious, even fear, when having to email or text with their antagonistic co-parent about routine matters. This isn’t conflict, it’s trauma.”
To receive a free consultation or to learn more about their services, visit www.stomping-on-eggshells.com or @StompingOnEggshells on Facebook.
Stomping On Eggshells is a spin on “walking on eggshells,” which people in unhealthy relationships often describe as doing to avoid triggering their partner’s explosive behavior.
“When I was married, I used to police my words and actions out of fear that one unintentional move would set off a ‘bomb;’ these events would start with a sudden verbal attack and end after days of silent treatment and dirty looks. While childish, the behavior became disorienting over time to the point I began questioning my own reality. I was walking on eggshells around a volatile person with an unpredictable temper. When I started on my journey of education and healing, I imagined myself ‘stomping’ on those eggshells as an act of reclaiming my voice, identity and independence.”
- Claudia Lopez, founder